Choose your weapon?

Take the quiz at dicepool.com

The best dam movie you’ll see this year

*readies shock paddles*

So, I’m blowing the dust of my blog.  How long this will last is debatable, since I usually do other stuff instead, and most of what I would blog could fit into a tweet. Of course, there are some things which wouldn’t, and no-one would actually pay attention to a mini-blog on a site known for such witticisms as “sitting down lol”

For now though, all bets are off, the heat is on, the fix is in, the dogs are out, the game is up, the chips are down, the stakes are high, the odds are low, the danger is huge, the payoff is slim. Friendships will be made, rules will be broken, wrongs will be righted, and no unturned stone will be left… uh…

Yet more Webcomics

After a while out of the blog, I’ve just dropped in to update my links. I now read yet more webcomics, and I have another blog to add to my blogroll. I think I’m going to turn this into some form of post-battle analysis for all the games I play, but in the meantime I might write up a post reviewing the mass of webcomics I read.

Engrish is a pretty cool guy

Hooray! My friends and I are starting a DEFCON tournament! Now I just need to convince them all to actually buy full copies. Also, I’ve been reading through a blag containing a huge selection of Engrish.

Oh sweet! The new Portal gun has arrived!

Cordell, of Vreemdstblag, refuses to buy DEFCON. This I cannot allow.

Epic failure

Wow. I just had to have dinner at my grandparents house. Thats not bad in itself, but I noticed some bad things when I was there. Eeeeeeeeeeevil things.

1. A Current Affair. I knew it was bad before, but this was just ridiculous. For those of you who watch the simpsons, the storywas was about as bad as the episode “Homer bad man” (I looked that up) where a Current Affairs show edits Homers statements so that it appears that he says  exactly the opposite of what he was saying. The story was about a charity dinner the company (they were interwiewing the CEO, or the chairman, or something) about the small amount of money that actually made it into the charity, becuase they had to cover costs. They portrayed the chairman as an evil man who didn’t care about anything but his own pocket, and indeed, implied that he had pocketed the money himself. Further words fail me on the subject. Current Affairs shows should burn, burn for all eternity in some sort of void.

2. My sisters baptism certificate. This thing certifies her as being baptised. At the time of her baptism, I related it (silently) to a creepy cult initiation ceremony (I was forced to attend, when I protested my mother compared it to a wedding). The baptism service itself was ridiculous, with horrific amounts of omissions and incongruities. Firstly, the pamphlet, describing baptism as “representative of Jesus’s rebirth” (Jesus himself was baptised, the pamphlet also said this, but failed to realise what it’d said), and baptism was also practised by the Jews long before that, to cleanse sinners and induct them (yeah, it is a creepy induction ceremony). And that “all baptisms performed in the bible were by water”, which is also untrue. In the new testament, there were baptisms by fire, where “fire passed over the heads of Jesus’s disciples, and they were blessed”, or something. Nowdays baptism by fire is “purely spritual”. While on the subject of changes in Christianity, originally the ‘gift of tongues’ was a miraculous thing, where a bunch of people who didn’t speak each others languages came into a room and the disciples spoke and they could all understand. Now the gift of tongues is, what I would call praying in gibberish. No, seriously. But I digress. The pamphlet said baptism was “purely spiritual”, so why do they need to give you a certification for it?

New name

So, the dungeon has been renamed.

This is so I can post about more general stuff, I can write stuff when I want, as opposed to before, where I had to find something spectacularly stupid.

I’ll still include those dissections of complete idiocy, but now it’s just a blog. About nothing in particular. I tried to make the blog title in italics, but it didn’t work. Maybe I should ask Fi, or something.

Killer Gazebo

Now, don’t get me wrong. Stupidity is hilarious when it’s not serious. I found a thread on a D&D forum containing favourite variations on “rocks fall, everyone dies”, a situation where the players are being so moronic that the DM (or GM, as the case may be) decides to kill them off. To wit:

ED: You see a well groomed garden. In the middle, on a small hill, you see a gazebo.
ERIC: A gazebo? What color is it?
ED: [pause] It’s white, Eric.
ERIC: How far away is it?
ED: About 50 yards.
ERIC: How big is it?
ED: [pause] It’s about 30 ft across, 15 ft high, with a pointed top.
ERIC: I use my sword to detect good on it.
ED: It’s not good, Eric. It’s a gazebo.
ERIC: [pause] I call out to it.
ED: It won’t answer. It’s a gazebo.
ERIC: [pause] I sheathe my sword and draw my bow and arrows. Does it respond in any way?
ED: No, Eric, it’s a gazebo!
ERIC: I shoot it with my bow. [roll to hit] What happened?
ED: There is now a gazebo with an arrow sticking out of it.
ERIC: [pause] Wasn’t it wounded?
ED: OF COURSE NOT, ERIC! IT’S A GAZEBO!
ERIC: [whimper] But that was a +3 arrow!
ED: It’s a gazebo, Eric, a GAZEBO! If you really want to try to destroy it, you could try to chop it with an axe, I suppose, or you could try to burn it, but I don’t know why anybody would even try. It’s a @#$%!! gazebo!
ERIC: [long pause. He has no axe or fire spells.] I run away.
ED: [thoroughly frustrated] It’s too late. You’ve awakened the gazebo. It catches you and eats you.
ERIC: [reaching for his dice] Maybe I’ll roll up a fire-using mage so I can avenge my Paladin.

In the news…

Well let’s have a look at this now, shall we?

Police ‘giving rapists excuses’

So, I guess we already know which side the media are taking, don’t we? Nowhere in this article does it give a rapist an excuse for their actions. The police are berating young women for, despite the knowledge that “anybody can be a rapist”, they get drunk and ‘wander off with people they had just met.’ However, the Rape Crisis Centre has said that “The responsibility is totally and utterly with the perpetrator. Women should not have to spend their lives doing or not doing something to avoid sexual assault.” Indeed they shouldn’t. But women should take the same cautions as the rest of us. It’s not as though we’re just telling women not to speed, males follow the same laws.

This didn’t prevent the spokeswoman from the Rpae Crisis Centre
from pulling the gender card – she accused the police of gender inequality with these words: ‘I’d be very surprised if police said the same thing if a young man had a few drinks and was sexually assaulted, that young men shouldn’t drink. Yet they are quite happy to say that sort of thing when it comes to women.’ This is both wrong and stupid. Of course we say this thing about men – women just happen to be sexually assaulted more often. Therefore, they should be more careful. It’s kind of like tampons – women have more cause to be aware of them than men do. After this particular bout of stupidity, she pulls out her trump card.

‘”In no other crime do we ask ‘where was she, what was she wearing, what was she saying or doing’. What we should be asking is where the hell does he get off thinking he can do that?’ Now, one thing stands out to me in that. It’s the words ‘No other crime’. We do that for murder. We do that for robbery. We do that for most forms of verbal and physical abuse. Far from an exclusive crime, the questions asked are exactly the same as for any other crime. As for the question ‘where the hell does he got off thinking you can do that’, it’s possibly the most inherently useless question ever asked about rape. Having knowledge of where the rapist and rapee were, what they were wearing, and what they were saying and doing can be of paramount importance to solving the crime. Pondering how the rapist justifies his motives has absolutley nothing to do with anything, and it reeks of dogmatism.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that rapists are correct in their actions, or that I think they are not fully to blame for the travesty the wreak amongst society, but women should shoulder some responsibility and use some sense when out drinking. I’d like to leave you today with a theoretical discussion between a rapist and a court judge, using, as the articles title so eloquently suggests, the womans drunkeness as an excuse. Thankyou and goodnight.

Rapist: I wasn’t going to rape her sir, but, you see, she was drunk…

Judge: She was drunk?

Rapist: Yes, sir.

Judge: *turns to prosecutor* Why didn’t you mention this earlier?

Prosecutor: um, well, you see…

Judge: How dare you try to put an innocent man in prison! Get out of my courtroom! *slams gavel*

Welcome

Hello and welcome to the dungeon.

Please ignore the strange man in the corner making whipping noises.

Also please ignore the large weapon in my hand, it won’t be used against you unless you’re a retard, if you, for example, tried to sue a company because they didn’t advise you not to dry your pets in the microwave, or, say, if you watch big brother.

Such is the purpose of this blog. It is for the flaming of retards, morons, and most of the citizenry of America and politicians of Australia. The dungeon also is for the celebration of intelligence, and innovation. That is the room with the cushions.

So please enjoy your stay, and ignore the screaming of the poor lawyer who sued videogame companies on principle. That’s the second room on the left. Thankyou.